wow... what shit hasnt gone down since the last time...? lets see. i started a blue edition of my journals. and i think i am going to contiune with that and maybe post some on here. depends, and yes the would be edited... thank yu very much.

we had a replay of june, july. and it sucks. i hate being in fights, especially with him. i can't lose him. not after all this.

i've lost too many people, let them all slip away... i can't let it happen to him.. no, not again.

i love you baby, and shoot me if i dont.

Nothing seems to be really working anymore,. The razor and scissors lay by my bed... I stare looking at them.

Feeling a little on the unloved side of life... people seem to forget about me, or just ignore me, make fun of me... beat me... not harshly, but still enough to make it hurt.

I'm a burtial person. Hitting, slapping, punching people? I've nevr wanted to turn out like that... thats not how I was brought up, or smoking? Where did that come from? Now, I can't stop. I long for that cigarette, or pot sometimes. But its just soo fucking hard. What the hell did I get myself into...

I've realized how much I am troubling myself. All the old habits are creeping out of the closet, handing me the tools to get the job done.

Why do people put up with me? "Your such a young, beautiful girl..." But can't you see?! I'm dying inside. I'm dying... I'm not going to last much longer. Why the fuck me? Why the fuck now?!

ARGH, fucking bite me and get off my fucking case.

I'll I want to ever be is fucking happy, just happy.... *tears*

Complicated Questions

Easy to be taken with everything you’re saying
Make us perfect and say it all again
But if every single second’s killing
Tell me I’m dreaming
I’ll sleep it all away

Tear out this love
Tear up the root
Tear out this love
Tear me from you

You know you can tell me anything you want to
Tell me something that I’d never know
Could be cautious as the words roll over your tongue
I’m stung with sick discovery

Tear me from these complicated questions
Taking all the empty spaces inside me
But complicated answers never did you any justice anyway
Complicated as we are we’re going have to burn it all away

Complicated answers take up all the empty spaces inside me
But complicated answers never did you any justice anyway
Complicated as we are we’re going to tear out this love